Alright, finally back into the swing of things. Been having some technical difficulties - seriously. My external died a while ago but I was able to work around that and then some issues with my computer but I think I have what I can fixed. The external hard drive was the fault of some wiring/weather/I'm not sure but hopefully I can claim it for insurance. My technology skills have been somewhat kept up while here - something I wasn't intending for though definitely a nice surprise. I'm even trying to refresh myself on website design and a few other things while learning some new stuff.
So Term 2 is a large part done...ish. Still 2 months to go, okay, that sounds rough when put like that. Alright, enough of the poor attitude. But on a more serious note I am a little tired of teaching. While at times I do enjoy it, I feel on the whole it is not the path meant for me - at least secondary school. I knew I didn't want to ever teach middle school yet here I am. Actually not as bad as I thought though I think the kids here are somewhat terrified of me which helps with behavior control a little, though not much since I told them I would not beat them. I have a feeling they don't fully believe that to which I'm a little grateful because discipline is never really been my strong suit, whether self imposed or imposing on others or even others imposing on myself. Just not my thing.
That being said yes, I do plan on finishing my two years here. It's still an amazing experience and I do love the handful of kids that actually work in class. Fits with my 90-10 rule: I used to think that 10% of humanity made up for the other 90% or something along those lines. Kind of a gloomy outlook on the world for sure (and arrogant, pessimistic, etc.). Though I do find it discouraging that only a couple students are able to get questions correct when the answer, written with work, is left un-erased on the board. Such is teaching I guess. The thing is I do enjoy teaching and helping people understand mathematics, physics, economics, etc. but I'm not too big of a fan of all that other stuff: discipline, behavior, blah blah blah. I know, I know, what of if/when I'm a parent right? I'd like to think that these couple years of teaching has prepared me somewhat for that and I pray that my wife will be much better at that sort of thing. Also, I don't plan on having 40 kids and I don't think my wife would like to go through that sort of pain, literally. Ideally, I/we can raise our kid(s) and instill them with the characteristics we value. The good thing: we're the actual parents.
I have SO much trouble dealing with parents - or a lack there of. How do you teach a kid what you feel is right (let alone legal) when the parents are constantly undermining you every step of the way. How do you instill a drive/need for education when the parents don't care? Granted I know some did not grow up with it and I can see how education is a foreign concept where the benefits are not readily seen or even currently applicable. There lives were fine, so can't their kids be fine without it too? They can but please don't have them sit all day in my class, talking, not taking any notes, playing football or "kung fu" right outside my open classroom door - the classroom they're supposed to be in. If they're a student in my classroom it's their job to learn, don't take notes? Don't do homework? Fine with me - as long as you're acing all the exams or nearly so. When you have a 2/30 for your homework grade and a 0/50 for exam scores - when I ask questions like "Do you like cookies?" - that's pathetic. Yes, that was a question on my final for last term, maybe1/3 missed it.
2 big thank you's are due here. First, obviously, to teachers. If you're a parent and getting on a teachers case, cut them some slack. Unless you'd like to step up and take care of 40 kids in a classroom all day long. Me? I'm already dying by tea break. Haha, yes, we have tea break (9:40-10:10am). If I'm a parent, and a future teacher of my kid can find this: print it out and show me, I will forever shut up if I'm bothering you. Second big thank you, to those students that are actually working hard. It's like I tell the other volunteers (and this is a big reason why I don't intend to be a teacher): I've made the active decision to stop trying and drag kids along. If you don't have motivation, not my place to give it to you. Not my teaching style and I'd say just not me as a person (Myer-Briggs test fooooooo!). Sounds harsh but I'm just not that strong/good/benevolent/whatever of a person to do so. Now I don't completely wash my hands of kids, I spend as much time as they will put in towards work. I tell them every week: no matter what time they come knocking on my door, I will help them. If I'm sleeping, I'll get dressed and sit at the table until they want to stop (yes, I have done this - now I make sure to answer the door with a shirt on). If they care, I care a lot. If they don't then my energy is better spent elsewhere.
Thank God I didn't have all teachers like me as a child, I would've gotten nowhere haha. In my defense though I have received positive feedback from students both here and in the states. I don't think I entirely suck as a teacher I just have pretty poor patience (though actually good in comparison to some judging by the stories I hear) and don't want to deal with the headache that is puberty for the rest of my life. I've found that kids either love my class or hate it, there are few that lay in the middle. Generally the students that care somewhat about school love it, and those that couldn't care less hate it - I'm okay with that.
I'd say my first speculation at teaching at the University level seems pretty accurate. We'll see what happens with that. And speaking of University, funny how time creeps up on you. Kind of disgusting to think about that I will need to start studying again in the near future for the GREs and any other exams I wish to take for Grad School/Job Applications. I've heard some stories and it seems like the testing process is infinitely more fun here in Africa! Hopefully I'll be able to teach myself some of the things I've wanted to learn in the mean time before then. I've made little progress with the guitar, kind of sad but I've hit some snags every now and then in that area. The back-handspring is coming along though! My ankles/feet are near perfect (they start to act up during exercise) so I'm hoping to have it down in the next month or so. After that: back flip. Or maybe the proper way to do a front hand spring. Perhaps some sweet dance moves? Or better yet, [rock] climbing moves. I still want that IronMan before my 30th birthday. Haven't been on my bike in forever here and haven't ran due to my feet (and laziness). It's been way too cold to swim.
Speaking of cold, I've actually caught one. I was spending way too much time in the library during early mornings. It is COLD here in the morning. The desert does not retain heat at all. The sun goes down, whoosh! Temperature just drops. Now I'm actually happy I brought my insanely warm sleeping bag - I've been using it in bed. Made me a little homesick for my old room - well, room setup/clothes/etc. Was nice to be able to throw on some long underwear, have my nice warm comforter. Wow, thinking of a house with climate control seems so...strange. I'm going to be a total idiot when I get back. Any volunteers on teaching me how to use a thermostat again? Or better yet, who wants to be my roommate?! I'll always wingman you when needed and you can use the Peace Corps line as many times as you want when we go out.....
Can't think of too much else. It's been a pretty dull 2 months or so. Well, dull as far as Peace Corps goes; I was sitting on a mattress when a drunk guy peed himself in a ride I got...that was gross - but so was college. Hopefully I'll have much better stuff to talk about next time!
